Live

This weekend was slow. Sunday, today, dragged on forever. I tried to sleep all day to block out my thoughts, but I woke up with nothing changed. I mentioned your name more times this weekend then I have since everything happened. My sister dragged me out of the house. We got a slice of pizza and walked the beach.

Sometimes I forget all the bad that's happened and just remember the good things. That's when I get upset. I get to thinking crazy thoughts. I thought things like I'll wait for you. Fix yourself, figure you out, I'll be here when your ready. I re-read our love story I wrote on my old blog. I listened to some guy talk about nutrition and answer my friend's questions all while thinking about you and how you'd know everything they were asking. How I ask you every question I have before I hit up Google. Silly things.

I cried for the first time. Not long, not hard. I got frustrated. I am frustrated. And this is so hard.

One day at a time. Time heals all wounds. Every storm runs out of rain...

****

I got a spur of the moment tattoo this weekend. I've felt like I have lived more the past month and a half then I have in an entire year. It's felt good for the most part. I don't have to think about someone else before me. I can just go. I can just live. And I don't want to forget that. I don't want to forget this moment in my life, this chapter, this life. I wanted to mark it. So I did.

a man spends his entire life trying to make a living, all the while forgetting to live.